Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
