Sacrifice jokes
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔