Sacrifice

Sacrifice jokes

War

  • The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.

    Bible

  • In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?

    Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?

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  • Parent

  • My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

    They were both druids.

    Sister

  • Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

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  • Man

  • A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"

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  • Soldier

  • Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

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  • Jesus

  • What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

    "Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

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  • Pillow

  • What did one pillow say to the other?

    Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.

    Jesus

  • How did Jesus kill himself?

    He fell from his bike.

    How many times did he die?

    Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

    Man

  • I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

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