Someone's jokes

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

So they could finally call someone "daddy."

Why do orphans go to church?

To call someone "father."

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

Why are Nepalese bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their king!

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"