Similarity jokes
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.