Similarity jokes
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
accurate af (credit to wade)
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?