What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Pink Floyd + Donald Trump = Same.
