Similarity jokes
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Memes
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.