Short jokes

Short jokes

Kid

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

Grade

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

Disease

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Politician

Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.

Emo

What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?

Nothing, they both hang.

Orphan

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

Orphan

Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.

self-checkout

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Uncle

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

Father

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

Pitch

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Violist

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Sunglasses

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

Cannibal

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"