Short jokes
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Ccddfftggfdrrttty.
Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.