Short jokes
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.