Short jokes
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"