Short jokes
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.