Short jokes
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! ๐๐๐
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Whatโs a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! ๐
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.