Short jokes
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
ooOooOooOwwwwwwwwwnipplenipplenipplenipplenipple shat y lif.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
I have a joke about lazy people!
Actually... forget it... it won't work.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Candis.
Candis who?
Candis nuts fit in your mouth?
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.
What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?
They both cheated!
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.