Short jokes
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
You're so ugly your mirror shattered.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
Your mum eats cabbage.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
What is Titanic's favorite subject? Subtraction.
Aren't I badly good?
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"