Short jokes
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
I am a volcano.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.