Short jokes
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
I am a volcano.
Spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-P-P~
Haha you said pp.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
I think one of my dads might be gay.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!