Short jokes
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
I got udder jokes too.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.