Short jokes
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"