Short jokes
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.