Short jokes
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Ummmm 67.
My friend: “Vaporeon is my favorite Pokémon.”
Me: “Hey, did you kno-“
Why Cristiano Ronaldo loves oranges??
Because they contain vitamin suiiiii!
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What were the webs?
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Dark humour is like skin.
The darker it is, the less people like it.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fishes.
Fishes who?
Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!