Short jokes
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Cleveland Browns
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
These are all racist. 😂
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!