Short jokes
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Hi. I am Joe.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.