Short jokes
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
What has it?
"Say what you want about the deaf."
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
Bros got barcode arms.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.