Short jokes
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Cleveland Browns
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.