Short jokes
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
These are all racist. 😂
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
I'm bald.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.