Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Short Jokes
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
