Short jokes
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.