Short jokes
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."