Short jokes
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson?
The Jackson dog. It's 49-year-old sausage between 6-year-old buns.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."