What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
Short Jokes
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.