Short jokes

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?

He can't drink and drive.

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.