Short jokes
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
kanker
Michael J. Fox came up to me the other day and introduced himself to me. He said, "Hey, what’s shaking?"
I said, "You."
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
4chan
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.