What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Short Jokes
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
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