Short jokes
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
David? Mitosis.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Fennec users lmao.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!