Short jokes
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
ssundee: "If this video gets to 100k likes, I'll post part 2."
SSUNDEE WIFE: "SHUT THE #### UP!"
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
You call, I'm putting on.
Frank (34) DJ.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.