Short jokes
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.