Short jokes
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.