Short jokes

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

Where do sick boats go? The dock!

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.

Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.

Why did the tiger lose at poker?

Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.