Short jokes
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
You call, I'm putting on.
Frank (34) DJ.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Fishermen are the best at networking.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.