Short jokes
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Fishermen are the best at networking.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
My dad coming back.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.