How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Short Jokes
Hillary Clinton
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
