Short jokes

What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?

Kill their parents.

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?

You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

What is Africa's most famous sport?

The Hunger Games.

Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.

Why do midgets work at Tesco?

Because every little helps.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.

What goes "Ooooooo"?

A cow with no lips.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?

In Orange County.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.