Short jokes
Halal!
Is it meat you're looking for?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
Your momma is so fat that she can't even go skinny dipping.
Ccdddfrtyyhhgfdderrrrtyu.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
Gays, blacks, and your maw, mate.
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
Pee-wee Herman was in the army... until he got a dishonorable discharge!
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
Knock knock. Who's there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you, that is who.