Short jokes

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?

The cow didn’t make it.

What do you call a deaf animal?

Anything, it can't hear you.

Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).

My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.