Short jokes
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Beans
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
My dad coming back.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.