Short jokes
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.