Short jokes
I got jealous when my phone dies.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.