Short jokes
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.