Short jokes
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.