Short jokes
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
America.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.