Short jokes
congrats to george floyd on 2 years sobriety
Blue Takis?
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.