Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Short Jokes
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
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What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
