Short jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
I have had it up to here with you.
(Then there Hight.)
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
"Hey Kenya, can we talk please!"
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.
Actually doing homework.