What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
Short Jokes
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
