Short jokes
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."