Short jokes

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

Blue Takis?

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."

Why did you go depressed?

Because you’re you.

How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.