Short jokes
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.