Short jokes
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Yo, your hairline is so small that you're bald.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
Africa.
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
Alpha Kenny body?
They're blooming a gay chicken.
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?