Short jokes
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
iran
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
A man walks into a bar.
Then he walks into a Pole.
Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.