Short jokes
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."