Short jokes
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.