Short jokes
Just cut my thumb open with a knife (not a joke).
Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))
The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."