Short jokes
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."