Short jokes
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.