Short jokes

Where do otters come from? Otter space.

"Twins sitting in class."

Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

COP: Are you high?

ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.

Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!

The Arabian Sea is in which state?

Liquid.

My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!

I like Cheetos.

What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!

What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.