Short jokes
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.