Short jokes
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.