Short jokes
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
What is Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite town? Boise.
Why does Michael Joseph Jackson love Boise?
Because of all the boys he'll see.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?