Short jokes
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!