Short jokes
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
What is 1+2? 0-23 CKerk.
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
JAJAJA
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."