Short jokes
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.