It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
Short Jokes
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
