Short jokes
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.
Bent and far back.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
What do you call a dick?
Suck my dick!
Are you the king of the jungle? 'Cause why are we lying?
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.