Short jokes
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!