Short jokes
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...