Short jokes
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.