Short jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata