Short jokes
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
WOW this ultra realistic jenga is awesome!🔥🔥
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.