Short jokes
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
Feminists are a joke.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.