Short jokes

Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.

What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?

Unnecessary.

How did the octopus go to the war?

Well armed.

What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)