Short jokes
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.