Short jokes
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Blue Takis?