Short jokes
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
How do Mexicans begin counting?
Juan, Two, Three.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.