Short jokes
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!