Short jokes
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.