Short jokes
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.