Short jokes

Blue Takis?

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.

cock, cock, and cum

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...

In A minor.

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)