Short jokes
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂