Short jokes
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.