Short jokes
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.