Short jokes
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.