Short jokes
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.