Short jokes
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.