Short jokes

How do you say "Brazier" in German?

Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

Feminists are a joke.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?

Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Update: I got banned from BIGO Live.