Short jokes
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.