Short jokes
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.