Short jokes

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

I bought a guh on the weekend.

(what's a guh?)

GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

The toaster;

otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.

I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.

How did the rich save the poor?

They didn't let them in the Titanic.

Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?

Family restaurants.

My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.

Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.

When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

Note to self.

When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".

Google "cream pie recipes".

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.