Short jokes
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.