Short jokes
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
I cum (Can't understand math).