Short jokes
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.