Short jokes
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
Flat Earthers
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Nevermind, it's retarded.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.