Short jokes

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?

Her boyfriend was blind too.

Why are Trump's ties so long?

Because they go all the way to Russia.

What do you call a burning church?

Holy smokes.

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?

Because they don't have soul.

Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.

If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.