Short jokes
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.