Short jokes
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Nevermind, it's retarded.