Short jokes
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?