Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Short Jokes
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Rust in peace.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
