Short jokes
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.