What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said "I'm a frayed knot
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them “because I’m such a noose-ance.”
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
Son: mom what is dark humor? Mom: son do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother you know im blind and cant see!! Mom: exactly!
What's the same with shoes and slaves? When they get lose you tie them up
what did the shoe say to the other shoe?
nothing it was tied up in a other conversation
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down sport
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigs tie. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Why tie when you can knot?
me : hey! do you know how to tie a knot? person : yea, why? me : cause I need help tying this noose :)
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
y couldnt bob hang himself?
because he had no arms to tie a not. :'-)
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get a-head, so they ended in a hare-tie!
