Short jokes
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.