Short jokes
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.