Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Shrek Jokes
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
"Apple bottom cringe boots with the kek (with the kek) got the whole club looking at Shrek."
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
*Shrek* Bend ogre.
What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”
