Short jokes
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Hiiii!
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
Heh, stupid orphan.
Kobi shops at Aldi.
Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
I hate myself.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
What do you call a series of ascending steps with eyes that follow you intently?
A starecase.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
Why did the Twin Towers fall?
They collapsed because of the heat.