Short jokes
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Jake Paul
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."