Short jokes
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.