Short jokes
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?