Short jokes
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...