Short jokes

Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?

Because they have a supreme ruler.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.

If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.

Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?

Family restaurants.

How did the rich save the poor?

They didn't let them in the Titanic.

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.

How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?

Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.

All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.