Short jokes
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.