Short jokes
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
Donkeys are cool.
Sleep, but make it forever.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.