Short jokes
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.