Short jokes
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.