Short jokes
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.