Short jokes

Short jokes

Daughter

I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.

  • 7
  • Basement

    What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

    Some people are let out of jail.

    Rape

    First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

    Football Player

    How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

    When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

    Shotgun

    What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?

    Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.

    Jap

    What did the little boy say to the fat man?

    How many Japs did you get?

  • 0
  • Feminist

    How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.

  • 8
  • Pedophile

    Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

  • 3
  • Abortion

    "_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.

    _____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."

  • 6
  • Cheese

    Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

  • 6
  • Dad

    My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

    Horse

    Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.

    "Moo!" says the second.

    Paper

    I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.

    But it was only on paper view.

    Nursery Rhyme

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."