Short jokes

The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"

I replied, "As soon as possible!"

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

5+2 = 7

But 4+3 also = 7

So take your own path.

What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?

"Happy Death-Day To You!"

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Why is sex with pandas so much fun?

I don't know, it just is. 🐼

John: What's 9+10?

Jake: 21

There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.

My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.

Sub to Pwediepie!

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

Eed?

Hi, how are you today?

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

What happens when you suck?

You succ.

I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.