Short jokes

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?

A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.

What is something that smells yuck? 🤮

Old bus seats.

When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?

Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?

Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"

Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"

Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)

What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.

What do you call a dog with no tail?

A tail-less dog.

Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!

Only really smart people will get this without it being explained.

Toilet paper fight hat.

Really bad penis joke.

The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”

Why can’t he just speak plain English?

I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.

Welcome to our Computer Show.

I'm Mars Argo.

Welcome to youtube.com.

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.