Short jokes
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
Ti girls yiman nyan kuni karhata Nina munh.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
I put glue in a man :)
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"