Master Jokes

My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A "MASTER-BAITER".

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.

Why did the slave go to college?

To get his master's degree.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?

Stand up.

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?

"Aaah, a ghost!"

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?

2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.

2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.