Short jokes
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
Asian without "As" is just sin.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!