Short jokes
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.