Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Short Jokes
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...
...but it left him hanging.
