Short jokes
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.