Short jokes
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"