Short jokes
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.