Short jokes
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.