Short jokes
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
My dad just comes and goes.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.