Short jokes
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.