Short jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.