Short jokes
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.