Short jokes
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"