Short jokes
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
What did Rengoku say to his class?
"Set your school ablaze!"
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why were the Twin Towers made on 9/11? They ordered pepperoni pizza but got plane.
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Did you know the food that was on the plane?
It was the bomb.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.