Short jokes
Curry.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.