Short jokes
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.