Short jokes
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
He's not really dead, his update failed.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Yeah.
Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.